04 May, 2006

Thirteen things we should say around the office... and thirteen things we do say instead. Warning: contains swearing.

1.
Try saying: I think you could use more training
Instead of: You don't know what the fuck you're doing

2.
Try saying: She's an agressive go-getter
Instead of: She's a fucking bitch.

3.
Try saying: Perhaps I can work late
Instead of: And when the fuck do you expect me to do this?

4.
Try saying: I'm certain that isn't feasible
Instead of: No fucking way

5.
Try saying: Really?
Instead of: You've got to be shitting me!

6.
Try saying: Perhaps you should check with.....
Instead of: Tell someone who gives a shit

7.
Try saying: I wasn't involved in the project
Instead of: It's not my fucking problem

8.
Try saying: I'm not sure this can be implemented
Instead of: This shit won't work

9.
Try saying: I'll try to schedule that
Instead of: Why the fuck didn't you tell me sooner?

10.
Try saying: He's not familiar with the issues
Instead of: He's got his head up his ass

11.
Try saying: I love a challenge
Instead of: This fucking job sucks

12.
Try saying: You want me to take care of that?
Instead of: Who the fuck died and made you boss?

13.
Try saying: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment
Instead of: Fuck it, I'm on salary.

Oh, and following on from the last TT, my friend had a baby boy yesterday by c-section, after a 22 hour labour. He was 52cm long and 4.6kg (10lb 3oz). Ouch!!

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25 Comments:

Blogger Alice said...

You wouldn't use that language in front of your mother, would you? Good girl. I know you always use the first alternative...... yeah, right!!!

7:15 pm  
Blogger Wendy A said...

Funny stuff Tanya. It's a good thing you know when to talk and when to keep your mouth shut.

7:39 pm  
Blogger Chaotic Mom said...

Such a TRUE list!

OUCH on the delivery!!!!! ;)

8:55 pm  
Blogger mar said...

That was a good laugh! be diplomatic at all times, lol!

10:05 pm  
Blogger Norma said...

You seem to be adjective challenged, but we get the idea. I think I wasn't such a hot supervisor because I didn't tip toe around incompetancy. Although I really did try.

10:30 pm  
Blogger Tanya said...

Norma- regarding being "adjective challenged": you were warned at the top that there was swearing involved. Shame you couldn't see the effing joke.

10:54 pm  
Blogger Pink Chihuahua Princess said...

#2 & #7 are great!

Thanks for visiting my TT. Happy Thursday!

11:27 pm  
Blogger One Scrappy Gal said...

LOL! Oh my... some of these made me laugh out loud and caused me to snarf my coffee! Very funny!

11:36 pm  
Blogger ems said...

ROFL! You have no idea how great you've made my morning.

My list isn't as funny, but it's up!

12:40 am  
Blogger Mouse said...

LOL!!!!!!!

Right on! This is classic!!!

I work in a law office, and have often wanted to say a lot of the cursing things, but I've always said the right proper things.

For that reason, this was hilarious! Good 13!

Mine are up.

12:42 am  
Blogger amy said...

LMAO!

I have said 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 (almost every day), and 11.

so funny!

mine are up!

12:46 am  
Blogger Trinity13 said...

What a great list...very funny!!

Btw, congrats to your friend! I can't even imagine 22 hours of labor just to have a Csec...crazy! That's why I just had a C scheduled with my first one (I was told I would have a very long labor and then still have to have a C, so I went the easy way!).

1:07 am  
Blogger Abandoned in Pasadena said...

Congratulations to your friend on the arrival of her new bundle of joy.

Your Thursday 13 list was great and VERY funny!!!

1:57 am  
Blogger Tracy said...

Great list!!!!

2:01 am  
Blogger Carmen said...

I prefer the ones that say "instead of" ha ha. Of course, then I'd get fired. :)

2:04 am  
Blogger Lazy Daisy said...

Loved you mom's comment....isn't it amazing what we say and what we mean. Thanks for coming by my TT. Congrats to your friend.

4:37 am  
Blogger Courtney said...

LOL I'm sure we've all been tempted to say the latter ones!

4:40 am  
Blogger TNChick said...

LOL!

I've never worked where I had to hear most of that... but it was good reading anyway :)

5:37 am  
Blogger Laura said...

perhaps I should share this with my coworkers.
Imagine what I would say.
LOL
my TT is up.

6:55 am  
Blogger Kelly said...

LOL!

8:40 am  
Blogger twiga92 said...

Finally! I've been trying to comment all day! LOL! Funny list! Thanks for sharing!

10:07 am  
Blogger Denise said...

That's so funny!!!

10:51 am  
Blogger *Skittles* said...

Funny list! And why can't I use #12??? LOL

11:22 am  
Blogger Val said...

I'm going to print this list off and post it (anonymously of course) on the office bulletin board. Heh heh!

And yeah, too bad, all that work (22 hours) and then a c-section after all... And all is well?

12:51 pm  
Blogger Wendy said...

Those are classics!!!

2:29 pm  

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