An email from my cousin...

AS I MATURE

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I've learned that you cannot make

someone love you. All you can do is

stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

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I've learned that no matter how much I care,

some people are just assholes.

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I've learned that it takes years

to build up trust, and it only takes

suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

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I've learned that you can get by

on charm for about fifteen minutes.

After that, you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs.

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I've learned that you shouldn't

compare yourself to others - they are

more screwed up than you think.

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I've learned that you can keep vomiting

long after you think you've finished.

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I've learned that we are responsible

for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

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I've learned that regardless of

how hot and steamy a relationship is at

first, the passion fades, and there had better

be a lot of money to take its place!

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I've learned that 99% of the time when

something isn't working in your house,

one of your kids did it.

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I've learned that the people you care most

about in life are taken from you too soon

and all the less important ones just never go away.

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Pass this along to five friends... Trust me,

they'll appreciate it. Who knows, maybe

something good will happen.

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If not... tough shit.

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